Clients' Experiences With Therapy

Individual Therapy - Female, 34, Mainland China, 2012

1. What were the specific issues that brought you into therapy with Lo?

My husband and I were separated for 3 years when I was working in the U.S.. After I returned to my home country, I felt it very difficult to communicate with him.

2. How confident were you in resolving the problem that you had before you came to see Lo, and how do you feel now?

Before the therapy, I’ve already started to read some marriage consulting books and tried to figure out what I wanted from the marriage. I tried to communicate my thoughts with my husband, but he was not serious about our talks or just was too busy to deal with the marriage problems. I don’t have the confidence to solve the problem by ourselves. I clearly remembered that the moment when I walked out of Lo’s office, I had a strong will and confidence to solve the problems.

3. Did your problem get resolved? If yes, to what extent?

After the therapy, I talked with my husband and tried to get him to see the therapist with me together. But he refused since he did not believe that a family issue could be resolved by a “stranger”. I also tried to write letters to him. But it did not work. To him, marriage is very simple, and I was asking too much from the marriage, which beyond his expectation. We have now decided to get divorced.

4. Are you still applying what you have learned from therapy to your daily life, and how do you find it helpful? How does it affect your relationships with your family or friends?

As I only had the therapy once, during which Lo spent a lot time to get to know my problems, I am afraid the one-time therapy did not change my current daily life a lot. But I do appreciate that Lo is a very professional therapist. She could quickly understand my problems and my thoughts. For example, during the therapy, I provided several examples to show that I felt uncomfortable of the strong bond that my husband has to his parents. Before the therapy, I thought it was wrong to have negative feeling on this issue. I was surprised that Lo quickly understood my point and precisely analyze the problem by drawing a picture to show the complex relationship among me, my husband and his parents. Also, Lo appears to be a very kind person, which allows me to easily speak out my problems and thoughts without hesitation.

5. What's your opinion about psychotherapy (individual, couple or family therapy)? Do you think there is a value for this kind of intervention? What is the value for you? Do you think your investment (time, effort and money) in therapy was worth it, and why?

I would like to give “yes” to all these questions. I trust therapists and believe that psychotherapy is based on scientific evidence.

6. If you have new challenges in you or your family life, would you think of getting support and guidance through therapy again?

Yes.

7. How does your experience with Lo in therapy affect your confidence in therapy in general?

Before meeting Lo, I had two doubts about psychotherapy. First, I may not be able to talk with therapists about my true feelings and every detail in my life. People tend to protect themselves by hiding their thoughts that they regard as shameful or not right. Second, I would be blamed or despised by therapists due to my bad behaviors or naive thoughts. The therapy experience with Lo has allowed me to overcome these two doubts and largely enhanced my confidence in therapy.

8. Was there any language barrier (Mandarin) between you and Lo?

No.

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Couple Therapy - Female, 32, Canadian in Hong Kong, 2013

1. What were the specific issues that brought you into therapy with Lo?

An unsatisfying 10-year relationship that was stuck in a number of areas.

2. How confident were you in resolving the problem that you had before you came to see Lo, and how do you feel now?

I did not feel very confident about resolving it because I felt that I had already tried everything. I feel now that I understand the situation better and both our roles in the dynamic of the relationship. I am not sure that I am confident that our romantic relationship will continue but we were able to go through a difficult period with Lo’s professional support and this has definitely helped maintain our friendship.

3. Did your problem get resolved? If yes, to what extent? If not, how could have Lo been more helpful?

The problem has not been entirely resolved. We both still feel a deep love and need for each other’s companionship but there are other areas, notably the intimacy, that are not resolved. I don’t think that Lo could have been more helpful. She strongly encouraged us from a professional perspective to continue our therapy but we did not wish to at the time. We both are grateful for the support and insight that she gave to us.

4. Are you still applying what you have learned from therapy to your daily life, and how do you find it helpful? How does it affect your relationships with your family or friends?

I am still applying what I learned – making my voice heard and being more aware of my own needs. I do find it very helpful and I am realizing more and more how important it is to express your feelings and also to be myself. It helps me appreciate others. I can see them being themselves and that is what I like about them so I should also be my full self. People actually want people to be themselves!

5. What's your opinion about psychotherapy/therapy/counselling (individual, couple or family therapy)? Do you think there is a value for this kind of intervention? What's the value for you? Do you think your investment (time, effort and money) in therapy was worth it, and why?

I strongly promote therapy for self discovery, couple therapy alone or together. There is a lot of value in better understanding how we work as individuals and in a couple or group dynamic. The investment was very valuable for me and I am better off for it today.

6. If you have new challenges in your or your family life, would you think of getting support and guidance through therapy again?

Yes I would. I really valued being supported and guided through various difficult periods of my life.

7. How does your experience with Lo in therapy affect your confidence in therapy in general?

My experience with Lo affected my confidence in therapy in a very positive way. I can confirm how professional she is after having later tried another therapist. She is also very open, personable yet professional. A good balance.

8. Was there any language barrier (English) between you and Lo?

No. I never felt that need to simplify my English when speaking with her and when there were subtitles that needed to be clarified, I had no concerns about speaking up.

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Cross Cultural and Family Issues, Female, 37, 2013

1. What were the specific issues that brought you into therapy with Lo?

Concern over family conflict and what I felt were unhealthy dynamics arising from different generational and cultural perspectives.

2. How confident were you in resolving the problem that you had before you came to see Lo, and how do you feel now?

I wasn’t confident at all before, and I feel now that I have a few tools to work with that I have confidence in. How well they work in practice depends on many things - but at least I have a basis for proceeding.

3. Did your problem get resolved? If yes, to what extent? If not, how could have Lo been more helpful?

Yes, the problem did get resolved - or at least, as the resolution came through a change in circumstances, our family conflict has been avoided for now. There may still be long-term problems, but we will have to address them as they arise.

We had discussed having other family members enter therapy, but that hinges on their willing participation - nothing Lo could do further at this point.

4. Are you still applying what you have learned from therapy to your daily life, and how do you find it helpful? How does it affect your relationships with your family or friends?

I can’t say the tools I learned about arise in my nuclear family as the kinds of stresses and expectations we live with are discussed and resolved reasonably well. But I can say I gained insight into life processes and phases for older generations which I hope would help me adjust to aging myself. I know some of what to expect, and that might help in my relationships with my spouse and child.

I’ve certainly talked about some of Lo’s suggestions with my siblings.

5. What's your opinion about psychotherapy/therapy/counselling (individual, couple or family therapy)? Do you think there is a value for this kind of intervention? What is the value for you? Do you think your investment (time, effort and money) in therapy was worth it, and why?

I think there’s value in therapy and counseling. I am less keen on psychotherapy, having undergone it while I was in distress, and finding it made me focus too much on negative aspects of my condition. For me, the value in talking with Lo was to have some of my concerns and fears validated, and the positives of what I was doing reflected back at me. In situations which are fraught with emotional land mines, having a safe space to talk with a disinterested and knowledgeable (and in this case, empathetic) party is very helpful.

6. If you have new challenges in your or your family life, would you think of getting support and guidance through therapy again?

Depends on the issue, but yes, I wouldn’t hesitate if I felt it was something I could not handle, or if I felt knowledgable intervention would improve the situation significantly.

7. How does your experience with Lo in therapy affect your confidence in therapy in general?

I think finding therapists who have direct experience in a particular issue is very worthwhile.

8. Was there any language barrier(English)between you and Lo?

No. I felt Lo understood the mixed world of people who cross international borders, and also has a deep understanding of Chinese immigrant struggles.

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